This is my final paper..

Significance of Gazes or Stare in
Detecting Deceit

(An Analysis about a Nonverbal communication act and

Interpersonal Deception Theory)

Nonverbal behaviors that enhance or decrease intimacy and involvement are also intertwined with affect and are natural responses in our interactions with others (Edinger & Patterson, 1983). For example, attraction toward someone is expressed nonverbally, often automatically and unconsciously, through increased eye contact, closer approach distances, increased touching, and positive facial expressions, all of which may induce positive affect in the target. Nonverbal deception then is any and all nonverbal cues which accompany deception that is not the worded lie. This nonverbal deception can be any nonverbal communication and a simple example of this is looking into one’s eyes.

Of all the areas of the body that can reveal deception cues, the face is probably the most important one. Just the eyes alone can tell one a great deal about the truthfulness of an answer. Gaze avoidance for instance is not an excellent nonverbal cue. If one is lying and doesn’t make eye contact when he/she should, then a lie could be taking place. Of course, many learn as children to look at someone when you lie to them to make them believe you are truthful. And, if one is looking at something else while talking to you, does that mean they are lying? One could be distracted by something else, or simply positioned in a way with an inability to face you. So, simple gaze avoidance may or may not be useful in lie detection.

Why do we say, “Are you really telling the truth? If you are, then look directly into my eyes”? This paper aims to elaborate the effectiveness of eye contact in delivering information to a receiver. Also, how eye contact is used to detect deception from a deceiver to the receiver. A Gaze or a stare is a variation of an eye contact. Eye contact is referred as looking directly into the eyes of another person. It is such a powerful, emotionally loaded act of communication that we normally restrict it to very brief glances. Eye contact has several levels. These is the “across the room”, conversational and prolonged eye contact. These types of eye contact may not be applicable in every situation. But in this particular communication act, it is certainly applicable due to the interference of flirtation in the process. This will then lead us into focusing a particular type which is commonly called the conversational eye contact.

I will analyze a communication act that is common nowadays. A man and a woman are both soaked in a Jacuzzi (Just the two of them) with the man asking the girl if she likes him or not. The girl seems to say things opposite to what she shows with the use of her eyes. Since it’s just the two of them, it is expected that the conversation is intimate and is focused in each other’s responses. Since it is the man who initiated the conversation, he is expected to ask more questions than the woman. In this communication act, it is quite apparent that the man’s questions are greatly affected by the woman’s stare during the conversation.

Nonverbal cues to deception are simply any messages that send clues that deception is taking place. These cues are, of course, nonverbal and the initiator is usually not aware of the information that is leaking out simply because of the nonverbal cues.

Nonverbal cues are just natural actions that accompany deceptive communication. Although everyone is guilty of sending these cues, they aren’t guilty of doing it on purpose. These cues aren’t an effect of conscious effort, but rather of subconscious doings. Whether one is telling the truth or telling a lie, the body sends out different cues for each that can be more revealing then the spoken words.

Most people aren’t really that good in picking lies. For there are things that must be taken into consideration that are neglected. The first is how credible the statement is, the second is its consistency with other statements and other things the person being lied to knows. People note that the movement of the eyes or simply looking into someone’s eyes as indicators of truthfulness or lies. However people only use it to confirm whatever they think anyway, to feel more secure about thinking it’s a lie, or to feel more secure about thinking it’s the truth. Furthermore the average individual judges statement accuracy on how plausible it is, which for obvious reasons isn’t especially accurate.

This communication act is supported by The Interpersonal Deception Theory by David B. Buller and Judee K. Burgoon. I will also identify the types of eye contact and the deception strategy used in the conversation. Lying is complicated and it is considered as complicated because the receiver/s is/are not able to discover the truth unless he/she tries to ask the deceiver and/or if the deceiver would really reveal the truth.

For a specific analysis, the conversation and the gazing points are noted:

(The man stares at the woman for approximately, 15 seconds and the woman stares back ) Woman: what? Man: Nothing.. (he whispered something to the woman) Woman: don’t look at me. Just leave anyway (with a glance and a smile) : (stares) Are you okay? It seems like you are waiting for me. Man: What then if I am? (glances) Woman: Why? You’re my friend. Man: I feel like our friendship is outside the boundaries. Woman: No (but stares with eyes slowly blinking) Man: We’re just friends? Woman: Yeah. You make me feel comfortable. (stares at him again eye to eye, approximately 5-10 seconds with her eyes slowly blinking) Man: Friends? : Nothing more nothing less? Woman: yeah (sighs, closes her eyes and lets the man stare at her) : (initiates an eye to eye contact with the man and slowly looks away) Man: Do you wanna say anything to me? Seriously? Woman: It wouldn’t matter now, we’re good friends. Man: okay then. Friends.

Conversational eye contact is characterized by a few glances (more often than the across the room eye contact) and most importantly, the “looking away” technique. This type of eye contact is apparently performed in the presented communication act. First, we must take note that the subjects has reached the 2^nd level of Eye contact strategy (Across the room as the 1^st level and Prolonged as the 3^rd) since they are already friends when the conversation took place. And so, It is noticeable that they were already able to establish a relationship however, not yet platonic.

Under some circumstances, gaze leads to increased feelings of attraction or liking, as increased eye gaze has in some cases been associated with more favorable socio-emotional evaluations toward the gazer (Goldberg, Kiesler, and Collins, 1969). Finally, it has been suggested that gaze increases compliance only when the appropriate course of action is clear and unambiguous (Ellsworth & Langer, 1976).

As the conversation progresses, it is evident that the man is greatly affected by the woman’s answers especially when she seems to convey an intricate meaning when she looks at him. It is said that, sometimes, it is more important how a message was said than what was actually said. This is where IDT enters. IDT is a theory that describes deception that is used in conversation between two people (Mahajan, 1). Deception is defined as an untruthful message that a sender tells to a receiver (Funk and Wagnalls, 164). All dishonesty should be considered within two contexts, who is (possibly) deceived, and the dimensions of the deception. There are two people that can be deceived by deception. The first is the party other than the person being deceptive. The second is the person who is making the lie.

A deceiver is knowingly manipulating information, which is usually presented in a sincere way. The deceiver may be unconscious of this, but he/she, may not realize that they are practicing “leakage”. Receivers usually look about 70-75% of the time, with each gaze averaging 7.8 seconds. If receivers look for only 15% of the time, they might be considered cold, pessimistic, cautious, defensive, immature, evasive or indifferent. If they look over 80% of the time, they might be considered friendly, self-confident, natural or sincere (Burgoon, 20).

Since I have determined the type of eye contact used by the deceiver and the receiver, it would then be necessary to identify the deception strategy used by the woman. Since the deceiver (in this case, the woman) is the one who conveys vague messages pertaining to her verbal and nonverbal communication gestures, it is manifested that she performs the deception strategy called Concealment. Concealment is described as deception strategy that hides a secret (Mahajan, 8).

The receiver (the man) perhaps is able to detect deception and so he repetitively asks his question, “We’re just friends?”. In this case, the woman is obviously showing different things. When she says, “Yeah, we’re just friends” she then follows it with an eye contact that is flirtatious.

According to Buller and Burgoon, messages related to credibility are a central feature of interpersonal exchanges and deviations from truthful behavior cause receivers to become suspicious (Buller, Strzyzewski, & Hunsaker, 1991). This suspicion is manifested in a combination of strategic and nonstrategic behavior which can be detected by senders (i.e., truthtellers or deceivers). When senders perceive suspicion, they alter their behavior to convey a truthful demeanor and allay suspicion. Thus, deceptive interactions contain strategic moves and countermoves by both deceiver and deceived. Consequently, research on observers of deceptive conversations may not be entirely applicable to conversational participants (Buller, Strzyzewski, & Hunsaker, 1991; Hunsaker, 1991). In this case, the may have detected that the deceiver is trying to deceive him and so, he develops suspicion.

In IDT, receivers’ suspicions are an important aspect of deceptive conversations. Suspicion affects receivers’ actions and reactions to messages from senders in interpersonal exchanges altering probing questions (Buller, Strzyzewski, & Comstock, 1991). Conversational participants may be at a greater disadvantage relative to observers when their suspicions are aroused. Suspicion places additional cognitive demands on participants who already have many conversational responsibilities. Consequently, participants may be less capable of surveying in-coming communication and judging its veracity while maintaining a smooth, coherent conversation than are observers.

According to Buller, Strzyzewski, & Hunsaker, A potentially important difference between conversational participants and observers is participants’ tendency to attribute more honesty to another than observers. In this case, I am the observer. Participants may base their judgments on conventions or heuristics- A mental short cut used to bypass the huge clutter of verbal and nonverbal signals which bombard us throughout every conversation- rather than on the behaviors manifested by senders. Truthfulness is a fundamental and essential maxim of conversation, allowing communicators to infer indirect meaning rather than relying entirely on what is made explicit.

Conversational participants actually are a form of observer, because they are evaluating the behavior of the conversational partner, not their own behavior. However, several studies on interpersonal interaction have shown that the fundamental attribution error also produces more favorable attributions by conversational participants than by observers (Buller, Strzyzewski, & Hunsaker, 1991; Burgoon & Newton, 1991; Street, Mulac, & Wiemann, 1988).

It may be particularly constructive to participants as they administer on-going conversations. Participants have several conversational tasks: They must determine and interpret messages, provide related comments, stay on topic, discuss relational dynamics, handle their images, and uphold conversational continuity through appropriate turn-taking. On the other hand, observers have few conversational responsibilities, save the decoding of incoming messages. This makes them more capable of focusing on the sender’s performance when judging veracity, while participants choose to assume truthfulness in order to cope with conversational demands.

They speculated that the conversational demands on participants instantiated the truth-bias-Our persistent expectation that people will tell the truth- heuristic and caused them to overlook cues to deception. By contrast, the fewer conversational demands on observers, the lack of the truth-bias heuristic, and the observational setting may have made observers more sensitive to behavioral changes linked to deception. Notably, participants relied more on facial cues, which may be more conspicuous due to their close physical proximity to the sender (Hall, 1973), whereas observers relied more on vocal cues when judging truthfulness.

It is perceived that in the given situation, the woman who is the suspicious participant and the one who provides seemingly intricate information has longer response latencies, were more conscious in her verbal presentation, and made more speech errors than non-suspicious participants. It is also noticeable that she provides the reverse of her answers through her gazes to the deceived. These competing strains placed on conversational participants by suspicion and the resulting uncertainty caused by their limited ability to judge truthfulness may cause participants to dump their truth-bias and rely instead on a heuristic that assumes dishonesty, thereby manifesting a lie-bias.

It is possible, though, for suspicion to aid conversational participants. Suspicion may elicit detection strategies unavailable to outside observers, like exerting more control over the conversation (Burgoon et al., 1992; Toris & DePaulo, 1985) or attempting to mislead the partner into believing that the participant is not suspicious of them (Buller, Strzyzewski, & Comstock, 1991). Such detection strategies provide less, or erroneous, feedback on deception success to the sender and reduce the sender’s ability to hide deceit. However, such moves increase conversational complexity, nullifying their benefits to participants.

The effects of suspicion were disappointing but may not be too surprising given the earlier discussion of how communicators often ignore information suggesting that conversational maxims have been violated (Kraut & Higgins, 1984). During the conversations, suspicion neither aided observers by increasing their surveillance of interviewee behavior nor did it help participants enact successful detection strategies (although Buller, Strzyzewski, and Comstock, 1991, did report that suspicious participants in the original experiment encoded less skeptical probing questions.

Contrary to popular belief, past studies have provided little evidence for the benefits of suspicion in deception detection. It seems that the most common effect of suspicion on receivers is to evoke a lie-bias. It does not appear that greater detection motivation and vigilance (the two aspects of suspicion most strongly manipulated in this study) produce real improvements in people’s abilities to evaluate a source’s honesty or dishonesty. Instead, the expectation of deceit may have the most pervasive effect on attributions.

Notably, the truth-bias created by conversational participation countermanded the lie-bias associated with suspicion. Participants were unaffected by the suspicion induction. It may be that the conversational tasks required them to assume truth in order to enact a smooth conversation. Or, it may be that the anti-detection strategies enacted by senders mislead participants.

Suspicious observers, however, showed the lie-bias characteristic of suspicion, but interestingly only when watching truth tellers. Perhaps, truth tellers engaged in fewer anti-detection strategies than deceivers (Buller, Strzyzewski, & Comstock, 1991) and, therefore, exhibited some behaviors that observers consider signs of dishonesty, like more random body movement, reinforcing the lie-bias. Deceivers, though, may have attenuated observers’ lie-bias, because they muted their bodily activity.

Reliance on facial cues particularly eye contact is likely to mislead a receiver when judging deception, because they are well controlled by communicators (Buller & Burgoon, in press; Ekman & Friesen, 1969; Zuckerman et al., 1981; Zuckerman & Driver, 1985). Participants believe that most conversational partners are truthful because they focus on the channel which provides the least accurate cues to honesty.

Spotting a liar is difficult, and some say that it is nearly impossible. According to professor of psychology at the University of California, San Francisco, few people are able to spot deception more than 50% of the time. His study also reported that federal officials performed best at lie detecting, being able to correctly guess 73% of the time. This is because of their Training, experience, and motivation. Therefore, not many can actually distinguish between truth and fallacy unless they are looking for a sign of deception, and unless they have significant amounts of practice doing so.

A few signs that give a liar away are that they either stare at you or can’t seem to meet your gaze. Often a liar doesn’t know what to do with his or her eyes, lest it becomes obvious they are lying. As a result, they overdo one or the other: staring or gazing off into space. Therefore according to this, if the person in front of you is staring at you until they absolutely have to blink, and is speaking exceptionally quickly, you could, with about 50% accuracy say that he or she is lying.

Therefore, the woman in the communication act really shows actions that are subjected to suspicion. She may not be aware of these actions but the receiver of information is somehow given non-verbal cues to detect her deceit.

The references will be posted in a few days..

there’s just a technical failure.,

sorry for the inconvenience.,

i’ll post it soon..i promise

 

persuasive or not?

Watching TV would probably be the most common hobby and past time in the world. That’s why, advertisers invest a huge sum of money to television companies regardless of the price for they are very much aware that it is the most effective tool for persuasion.

While waiting for our favorite TV shows, we somehow, have no choice but to view these commercials and their, ‘not so convincing models’ just to be able to watch the show we’ve been waiting for without missing any second. In fact, there are times that we wait for a certain advertisement rather than a TV show. But do these hugely-invested projects persuade the viewers?

In viewing these commercials, I admit some were convincing and some weren’t. One of the convincing ads for me is the xenical commercial which is a cosmetic product and is used to loose weight in almost an instant. And the unconvincing ad is the touch mobile commercial wherein, i think, they have over emphasized the ‘pang-masa’ concept.

Convincing!

Unconvincing (This is not the exact ad)

In those types of commercial, I think, the xenical ad should be filtered through the central route because we need to listen to what the model was saying and it is up to the viewer if he tries to believe or not. However, in the TM commercial, though it was unconvincing for me, the visuals were somehow unique and eye catching but it still, i was not persuaded. I think it is such a cliche to use the “bisaya” accent just to emphasize and illustrate that it is ‘pang-masa’. Therefore it passes through the peripheral route based on the technicalities.

Ria Gene J. Petrache

whooh.,

okay,.here i am,

blabbering words again.,that’s the reason why i created a blog anyway,.

so,, who the hell cares?

“I will gonna die” that’s the newly constructed and most quotable sentence of the year!

…Stop me! I’m supposed to write a story here

anyway, here it goes.,

I know this person who, of course, knows me as well. We are just acquaintances since we’ve only known each other if not for this common subject that we’re both in.

He loves to comment on things., it’s kinda uplifting at times. But as he does it daily, it’s has become irritating and “intimidating”(the most appropriate word to describe it i guess). How should i react? I must admit, It is indeed flattering if i wouldn’t consider the way he said it., but i wouldn’t close my eyes when talking to him of course!

There’s this certain non-verbal communication that he does., I dunno if he does it on purpose, but i hope he’d be aware of it.,

i miss the doctor!

i’m not writing today just to backbite a professor which probably, is the reason some people write about their teachers and post it in the net.

In fact, I m here in the opposite way. I’m writing to pay tribute to a professor. Not that he/she’s dead, but i kind of miss her at times.To give you a hint about who she is, she was my teacher during the first semester(The other clue is the title). She gives us very remarkable discussions which I admit,  sometimes gave me those unbearable chills. My nerves take over my brain and when it’s time for me to answer, I just blabber jokes which surprisingly makes her laugh and even remember my name the whole semester. Learning was really fun. I’m never sleepy during her class. In fact, I sweat the whole time, like I was constipated the whole period.

ooh., in case you are wondering, I don’t have a certain infatuation with this prof! I’m 100% girlash. You see, she teaches in quite a weird way, but in the totality it was amazingly fun.

I admit, I’ve almost forgotten the lessons we had in that sem, but her smiling face was tattooed on m y mind.

Finally: informally

hooh,. finally, i have decided to write something informal in this well used blog. Well not everything written here is really formal but it would probably be nice to write something that is outside the purpose of the creation of this blogger.

it is quite an achievement for me to finish reading a pocket book. Just because, it is certainly not normal.

My main purpose in reading the book was just to ride on with the conversations with my friends. They’ve talked about this certain book that was long overdue to be returned in the library. And they talked about the contents too. It was quite interesting, i thought. The title is, “Falling Leaves” by Adeline Yen Mah. I also remember the cover of the book with jun-ling’s(Adeline’s Chinese name) photo with her brothers and sisters. I had no regrets.

The next day, I went to the library and borrowed the book. I was more interested when i read the text printed on the photo overlapping the child. It says, “A memoir of an unwanted Chinese Daughter”. In the first few pages, I have learned about a few history of her family which was attached to the history of China. One familiar topic was also mentioned, the Chinese footbinding tradition. It was my topic when i made my very first term paper during my 4th year in high-school. Every experience was very haunting. In fact, it made me think how lucky i was with this very imperfect life i have. Close to crying, i slept with her story lingering on my bothered mind. It was pretty confusing too. I had lots of hanging questions which will perhaps, be answered only when i finish reading the whole context.

3 days passed. i finished. Damn! I was satisfied! Actually, more than satisfied. Except for skipping washing the dishes, Reading yen mah’s story made me understand how life can be so unkind to you. Although she belonged to a very rich family, It was never a reason for her to live a very comfortable life the way i have imagined rich people should experience. It was clear that she learned a lot from what she has. Not the rich family, but the experiences she had when she was still a child. It was surely memorable perhaps, traumatic for her. Makes me say, she deserves everything that she has achieved and deserves more in the coming years.

ria

January 10, 2008-Nonverbal communication act

“The cheapest, most effective way to connect with others is to look them in the eye.”

· Nicholas Boothman

How effective is ‘looking in the eye’ as a communication act? It is said that, sometimes, it is not important “what was said” because considering “how a message was said” needs more attention. In a situation like telling a story to a friend or even making somebody feel that you are angry or irritated, eye contact is probably the best and the easiest way to convey emotions.

Eye contact – looking directly into the eyes of another person – is such a powerful, emotionally loaded act of communication that we normally restrict it to very brief glances.

In a more specific case, eye contact would probably be the most effective tool in showing desire or likeness in a subject. In such cases, there are different types of eye contact that expresses distinct messages. It could mean frustration, anger, admiration or love.

Usually the first contact made with a “Potentially Interesting Person” is eye contact. There are a few different types of eye contact:

There is the “Across the Room” eye contact, the “In Passing” eye contact (when a PIP is passing by you) and the all-important “Conversational” eye contact. In addition to this, when the both of you were able to decrease your uncertainty levels and were able to know each other’s characteristics for a while, you may do the “prolonged eye contact”. Each is different in many respects, but similar in that they are all ways of sneaking in communication without words.

The ideal “Across the Room” eye-contact flirt only makes contact for two or three seconds, and then shyly, must turn away. Usually this will make you smile, which is again a perfect communication – friendly and pleasant.

“Prolonged eye contact“ between two people indicates intense emotion, and is either an act of love or an act of hostility. It is sometimes disturbing (considering other people’s culture) that in normal social encounters, we avoid eye contacts of more than one second. Among a crowd of strangers in a public setting, eye contacts will generally last only a fraction of second, and most people will avoid making any eye contact at all.

Think about this, if a man stares at you and doesn’t look away even after you glanced at him, it makes you uncomfortable and realizes that he is more of stalking you than showing his interest in you.

Significance:

The eye perhaps is the most important sensory gland that is used for communication. It is in fact, considered as the “windows to your soul”. It is the medium for messages that we may have difficulty in expressing. eye contact, especially in the process of flirttation ( there are different types depending on the process) may answer the following questions(questions are according to level of flirtation based in the eye contact technique):

 

• Is he paying attention to what I’m saying?

• ·Does this person find me attractive?

• Does this person like me?

When making the different types of eye contact especially when flirting, remember that you are trying to convey a message with your eyes. People have often thought that when they end up looking away after making the first step of flirtation-a very short glance, they are no good in the “eye contact strategy”. The truth is, they were actually able to complete the first step and convey the desired message.

• There are some parts in the flirtation process wherein you’ll have to like, ‘reply to his glance’ also by looking very shortly to him in a certain way that you’ll be able to show him that you are interested in him too. In a situation such as when a man you are interested to looks or stares at you, you have to look back at him and let him catch you. In this way you were able to relay that the interest is mutual.

• Having a small chat or conversation is also a medium for flirting. It shows confidence and trust to the person you are conversing with. In fact, researchers have discovered that one of the most striking differences between people who are socially confident and those who are shy, is that confident people have much more frequent eye contact with their conversational partners.

• It reveals your feelings. However, it depends on what impact it creates to the person of interest. Eye contact is the most basic medium for flirtation but it is the safest way to express emotions non-verbally.

• if you don’t look at someone when you are introduced, it looks as if you are shy, aloof, or have something to hide. But if you stare, that seems threatening and hostile. Most encounters are a mixture of looking at the person and then looking away – as you’ll see if you video yourself chatting to a good friend.

• Keeping an eye contact when flirting with a person often gives assurance and most especially it coveys the message,”I am interested in you”. Since flirting is just a step in forming relationships, it is important that we make a good impression by using the body language basically the eye contact which is 50% in the totality of communication strategies.

Some statements proving that eye contact is an effective flirting technique:
“I have a thing about eye contact. I love it, and when I’m flirting, I do it a lot. It’s mostly subconscious. I usually don’t even realize I’ve been holding a guy’s gaze for a prolonged time until he laughs and says, ‘what?!’”

-ipodgirl-

“Eye gazing is essential to me. As an empath I’m so deeply sensitive about what people already feel … but the eye~gazing has helped me to discern more deeply and deeply. As a Dakini, with many years of practice and continued opening, I can easily assert that this can be a doorway to vast new worlds of awareness.”

-LotusShaktigodess-

“When I’m interested, I will repeatedly try to catch her eye. First, because I’m looking to see whatever might be there– to see what I can see! Second, I do it to show interest and maybe see if I can get some “play” going. Two can do a lot of talking and have tons of fun with just the eyes”

-eastwest10-

References:

I have gathered information through several websites that provide flirting tips to men and women. All of which states that eye contact is the first step in formulating relationships. The websites are:

• www.links2love.com
• www.medicinenet.com
• www.thesite.org
• www.romanceclass.com
• www.sirc.org
• “what social science can tell you about flirting and how to do it”, Kate Fox (Social Issues research Center)
• www.personals.salon.com
  

Activities	Week 1	Week 2	Week 3	Week 4	Week 5	Week 6	Week 7	Week 8	Week 9	Week 10
Select a topic
Find information
State your thesis and make a tentative outline
Observe the area of study (gathering facts through immersion)
Organize notes
Write your first draft
Revision of outline and draft
Type final paper

Some parts of this article is revised to specify “flirting” which is my final topic.

 

We have to tell ourselves!

Majority of the people around us are not aware that all of us uses intrapersonal communication to enrich our souls.

now, if you’d ask me what i meant with what i have just stated, meditating helps us realize things and formulate goals that we couldn’t have possibly thought of in other types of communication acts. Things that happen around us is actually attracted by us and only us. Failures in doing things that we are very eager to achieve depends on how we react on situations and relies on what we tell ourselves. It isn’t about what other people think about us, it is simply about what we think about ourselves.

Perhaps, good intrapersonal communication is the key.

Many people have stated that much of their stress in life is from a feeling of not having any control in their lives. The essential first step in gaining control is getting a clear understanding with yourself, on what you want. Then you must be able to figure out the details of that desire and the steps necessary to achieving it.

We need to do this in all areas of our lives, and have an idea, in each area, how we would like to achieve it. This puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. You can be the one in control instead of having others control you.

You will then be able to communicate to others what your wishes and desires are. This will enable you to attract to you what you need, to go where you want to head.
Another video clip that must be viewed:

intrapersonal communication to interpersonal communication

Featured Stories

To Rhonda, thank you!

Dear Rhonda,

I know you must get hundreds of stories about The Secret changing people’s lives, but I wanted to e-mail you to THANK YOU for changing mine. I bought the book this past winter, read it quickly, and started to “Live The Secret”. After a while, I let it go until my Mom gave me the audio book. I played it to work and back every day for weeks to really understand and use it on a day-to-day basis. I loved hearing the stories but never really thought anything of it more than “Wow, I guess it worked for others. Maybe one day I will be powerful enough to have it really work for me too.” Then, a few weeks ago, a new career opportunity was presented to me. I knew I wanted a change but knew (and was told) there was a little to NO chance I would ever get the job that I wanted. I knew then that this was the perfect time to take control of my life and use The Secret.

From the day I submitted my resume to the company, I did EVERYTHING The Secret told me to do. I started clearing my office of my personal items, started cancelling all the services I had at my current job, and even wrote a resignation letter ahead of time because I knew I had to already feel and know I had what I wanted. Besides doing that, I wrote and wrote and wrote as much as I could Charles Haanel’s mantra and my own mantra to convince myself I had the power to change my own life. I purchased an outfit that I would wear on my first day of my new job, and I bought a pot plant for my new office. Every night, I closed my eyes and imagined setting up my new desk. Others in my life were negative, yet I was determined that NOTHING was going to get in the way of my thoughts and visualizations.

There were times I had doubt so strong I never thought I could overcome the feelings, but I did. Guess what happened then… sure enough, I was the one who got the job offer. There was little chance of me ever being chosen, but I was, and I KNOW I was the one who made that happen.

Now in my life I make sure to be grateful every single second of the day. I am proud to say that I love saying “thank you” any time I can, even if it is for the smallest thing in the world. I look at my life as a canvas just waiting for me to paint everything I could ever desire and want on it. If I want a specific question answered, I ask for the answer. If I want a new dress, I focus on the dress and visualize wearing it, and sure enough, I find the exact dress I want. It is absolutely amazing to think that I have the power of the universe in me. ME! And anyone, ANYONE can do the same.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Now, everyone I meet I tell them that they CAN and should take control and change their own lives. Thank you for giving me a greater gift than I could ever imagine.

Rebecca
Detroit, Michigan, USA

Reflection: intrapersonal communication in choosing our paths

So, if all of us were able to find out the secret to life, what should the realization be?

We choose our own destiny by just thinking of it. simply, Imagining things and drawing them near you in your very own visualization is using the secret to life. Which implies that intrapersonal communication is stronger than we thought it is.

The letter above is taken from the site www.thesecret.tv and is a proof that intrapersonal communication or sometimes called meditation, is effective and can then be shared through other communication acts most especially intrapersonally.

Thinking positively is an action that is basically pointed out in this communication study. When people concentrate on things which they do not want, the exact opposite situation happens and It happens in the exact same time that we don’t want it to occur. All I’m saying is that, we should focus on things that we really want to have and help ourselves reach them. We must be prepared. Emotionally and mentally.

An excerpt from The Secret.tv

The Secret reveals the most powerful law in the universe. The knowledge of this law has run like a golden thread through the lives and the teachings of all the prophets, seers, sages and saviors in the world’s history, and through the lives of all truly great men and women. All that they have ever accomplished or attained has been done in full accordance with this most powerful law.

Without exception, every human being has the ability to transform any weakness or suffering into strength, power, perfect peace, health, and abundance.

Rhonda Byrne’s discovery of The Secret began with a glimpse of the truth through a 100 year old book. She went back through centuries, tracing and uncovering a common truth that lay at the core of the most powerful philosophies, teachings and religions in the world.

What Rhonda discovered is now captured in The Secret, a film that has been viewed by millions around the world. The Secret has also been released as an audio-book and printed book with more than six million copies in print.

The Secret explains with simplicity the law that is governing all lives, and offers the knowledge of how to create – intentionally and effortlessly – a joyful life. This is the secret to everything – the secret to unlimited happiness, love, health and prosperity.

This is the secret to life.